https://theonion.com/teacher-asks-what-first-graders-want-to-be-once-child-labor-laws-repealed/

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Teacher Asks What First Graders Want To Be Once Child Labor Laws Repealed

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Published:
May 21, 2025
LIBERTY, MO—After reading aloud a picture book about a puppy that works in a coal mine, local first grade teacher Brianna Montgomery asked her students Thursday what they want to be once child labor laws are repealed. “I want everyone to grab some crayons and draw a picture of what you want to be once the governor rolls back all the child labor laws,” Montgomery said as shouts of “fish processor!” and “farm laborer!” filled the classroom. “Joshua, you love video games, so maybe you could work at a plant assembling semiconductor chips. And Michelle, I know you like nature, so I bet you’d have fun being outside all day picking blueberries. Now, you may think that just because most kids end up working for the local meatpacking plant, you’ll end up there as well, but it’s not true. You can go to the big city and work in a poorly ventilated warehouse.” Later in the school day, students reportedly practiced their math skills by adding up how many hours of subminimum wage work it would take them to earn $100.
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